


Helping Hand

by castivak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural), Trans Castiel (Supernatural), Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-11-06 07:53:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17935799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castivak/pseuds/castivak
Summary: castiel's life was normal until he learned the truth about the world from a baby





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> basically this is just an au where castiel takes kelly's place

"one minute we're talking about the best barbecue--i'm a kansas city man, bill likes his memphis....i stepped into the john, when i came out he was on the ground. i, uh, i tried cpr, but...."  
  
castiel listened as jeff spoke, clutching the bible to his chest as he looked down at the ground, his heart aching at the loss of one of his colleagues.  
  
almost everyone was in their night wear, including castiel who had a robe over his pajamas, the president standing before him in a blue robe as he explained what he witnessed.  
  
"i'm sure you did everything you could, sir, but it appears he had a massive cerebral hemorrhage." a blonde woman and she turned to a co-worker of hers, "we're gonna need an autopsy, but i don't see any evidence of foul play." she spoke before walking off, everyone hanging their heads down in grief.  
  
"if you'd like to say a few words, sir."  
  
at the slight confusion on jeff's face, castiel continued for his colleague and he walked forward, handing the taller man the bible he had been holding, "a few words to the man upstairs, sir...like you do every morning." castiel spoke gently, pulling on the ends of his robe before backing away and getting down on his knees along with everyone else, clasping his hands together for prayer.  
  
"yes.....words.....nothing we ever say feels like enough......babies." castiel briefly looked up at jeff with slight confusion, quickly looking away and closing his eyes, waiting for the man to continue, "....that's what we are....innocents. all of us struggling to walk upright with purpose and....and pride, and yet we need our father to be there when we fall. today we lost a brother and tomorrow we will continue our work for the country.........amen!"  
  
"amen."  
  
castiel got up after everyone answered, walking over to jeff and gently taking the bible from him, "you always know the right thing to say." he mumbled before walking off and to his room, jeff's eyes following him as he left.

  
**•◇•**

  
"while we've been away from d.c, in belarus, negotiations between the rebel force and the government have broken down. we're recalling ambassador harkin." castiel spoke, arms resting on top of the notepad in his lap as he twirled his pen, "sir, is it time to involve the u.n?"  
  
jeff made a small sound of acknowledgement, castiel getting ready to write whatever the man said down, "that, or we could just go ahead and nuke 'em."  
  
several heads shot up at the remark, everyone turning their heads to their boss, castiel squinting his eyes in confusion (and slight worry) at the man, jeff starting to laugh as he realized the uncomfortable stares and everyone joined in with their forced laughter.  
  
"well, montroy fundraiser at two, we'll pick this up at dinner!" castiel declared as he gathered his things, giving jeff a slight glance and a smirk as he walked by, hearing the man quickly put down his things and leave, castiel watching him head down another hallway and he tried catching up.  
  
"sir!"  
  
jeff slowed down and turned to look at castiel as the shorter man jogged up to him, handing him a tablet, "thought you might want to know, the new poll numbers are out. you're way up. officially the most popular sitting president in modern history."  
  
"really?"  
  
"mhm."  
  
"thats impressive." jeff mumbled and castiel took a breath, glancing the security man behind them and taking the tablet from jeff, "uh, otto? take a little break." he smiled and handed it to otto, watching the guard leave before turning back to the man in front of him.  
  
"was there.....something else?" jeff trailed off and castiel smiled at him, making a 'follow me' motion before walking down the hall and towards jeff's bedroom.  
  
minutes later, castiel found himself laying beside the president, both of them completely naked, the smell of sex filling the air.  
  
"wow.....so amazing."  
  
"yeah, its almost like i've never done that before."  
  
castiel let out a small laugh, turning over as jeff put an arm around his shoulders and he laid his head on the man's chest, "ya know jeff, i admit that....it makes things kind of _exciting_ keeping this a secret." the man trailed off, his fingers tracing patterns into jeff's chest as he spoke, "i just wish we could make how we feel about each other....well, _public_."  
  
"oh?"  
  
"i know people might not like it, public might not like it because you're a widower, and i'm..... _me_." castiel mumbled, anger and sadness filling his tone as he finished his sentence, sitting up a little and looking at jeff.  
  
being a transgender male already got him severe backlash from the public, and if they were to come out about their relationship, it'd only get worse.  
  
"uh-huh, but..."  
  
"but, i know you've been lonely since louise died.....and i know your feelings for me are real. because everything you do is real." castiel spoke, putting a finger on jeff's chin and making the man look at him, the two exchanging a small smile, "i just love to think that.... _someday_....we could be a real couple."  
  
castiel looked up at jeff, who had a smile painted on his face and the younger man couldn't help but return it once again, "maybe do the wedding thing.....maybe the baby thing."  
  
jeff seemed a bit startled at that and castiel sighed, hoping he didn't cross a line by mentioning such big things. "it'd be weird for the public, but we wouldn't have to do everything immediately, we could just...be a regular couple and....eventually, i could carry your child, maybe."  
  
castiel settled back down, laying his head on jeff's chest, resting his hand on the other man's, "i just....i just _know_ you'd make an amazing father." he whispered and intertwined his fingers with jeff's.  
  
"....i think we could.... _maybe_ do those things."  
  
castiel looked up at him and smiled, "really?" he asked and jeff nodded, "of course, not all at once like you said, we'd have to...."take it slow"." the man spoke and castiel laughed, able to hear the quotations in his voice. "but, what could go wrong?"  
  
"you're amazing."  
  
"i know." jeff joked and castiel smiled, gently kissing jeff and the older man kissing back before pulling away, the two laying there with smiles on both of their faces.

**•◇•**

  
"promise you won't laugh?"  
  
"even if its funny?" jeff teased and castiel scoffed, lightly smacking his chest and jeff smiled, "i won't laugh."   
  
"....tonight, us here, it felt....different."  
  
"now im really not laughing."  
  
"no." castiel laughed, shaking his head a little as he smiled at the man beside him, "we were great, as always, but....somehow, in some way i can't describe, it feels like something's changed."  
  
jeff leaned forward, softly kissing castiel and making the smaller man melt beneath his touch, pulling away with a smile and he wrapped his arms around castiel, pulling him closer.  
  
"maybe something has."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of the tags will take time just bare with me

"yes im pregnant." castiel whispered into the phone, sitting down on a small white cushioned chair beside the pool, needing somewhere that nobody would over hear him. "i don't know _when_ , sheri, and i don't know how. i just know that i am."  
  
' _hello darling_ '  
  
castiel froze at the voice, knowing damn well that it wasn't his friend that he was talking to anymore and he lowered the phone from his ear, turning around seeing a tall man with a grey-ish beard and in a suit.  
  
"this is going to sting a bit." he muttered as he touched castiel's shoulder, the transgender man gasping as he was swiftly _teleported_ away from the president's home and into a small motel room.  
  
castiel looked around the room that he was now in, seeing a short woman with red hair, two tall men wearing too many layers, and a woman with wavy brown hair standing by their side.  
  
"what the hell was that?" he questioned, stumbling in place as a wave of nausea and dizziness washed over him, someone grabbing his arm to keep him steady and he shook their hand away, placing his hand on the wall and lowering himself onto the bed, looking up and seeing the british man from before standing there with his hands raised, acting innocent.  
  
a glass of water was put in front of him and he turned, seeing the brown haired woman holding it for him to take, "are you trying to poison me?"  
  
"no, and even if we did, it wouldn't harm you the way we'd want it to." she spoke and castiel went wide eyed, "hannah, you cant--okay, this is crazy." the taller too-many-layers man mumbled, moving closer to castiel and the woman--hannah, apparently--put the glass down beside him if he wanted to take it.  
  
"my name's sam, that's my brother dean. that's rowena, you already met crowley and hannah. uhm, we know you're pregnant--"  
  
"--you _what_?!" castiel spat, glaring at sam in disbelief and anger, "how do you know that?! are you _stalking_ me?!"  
  
"n-no! no, we're not stalking you, we--"  
  
"every angel knows that you're pregnant with a nephilim, castiel. we all heard it." hannah simply stated and dean pinched the bridge of his nose, her statement only increasing the anger in castiel's chest and he huffed in frustration.  
  
"im not gonna even _ask_ what a nephilim is because you guys are obviously lying to me."  
  
"we're.....really not."  
  
"no, no you're making it up. its impossible." castiel muttered, grabbing the glass of water without thinking and drinking from it, his stomach still swirling with nausea and he just wanted to go the fuck _home_ and _sleep_.  
  
"well, to be fair, so is teleporting, but....ta-da."  
  
castiel glared at dean, "who are you people?"  
  
"well, dear." the red haired woman (rowena, right?) spoke and she moved closer, "i'm a witch. she's an angel." she gestured towards herself and then hannah, who nodded and smiled slightly. "and i'm the king of hell." crowley finished and castiel stared at them in disbelief, shaking his head and swallowing thickly.  
  
"oh, god."  
  
"no, actually, he left."  
  
"okay, guys, not helping." sam butted in and castiel's hand started to shake, "you-you can't he's the president."  
  
"he was, but now......tell me he hasn't been acting different."  
  
"jeff's been under a lot of stress, he--"  
  
" _wrong_. he's the devil." crowley interrupted and the pregnant man looked up at him, "horns, pitchfork, the whole nine."  
  
"crowley! still not helping!"  
  
crowley rolled his eyes and went into the smaller room next door, castiel sighing a little because this was crazy--no, more than just crazy. it was get-locked-up-in-an-asylum-for-life kind of crazy.  
  
"listen, we know what we're talking about here, we have been on lucifer's trail for a long time."  
  
"and we know you're pregnant with his child."  
  
"that's--that's--you're _lying_." castiel stammered and hannah walked over to a desk drawer, opening it and looking through it, "the thing inside you, its unholy." she spoke, pulling out a bible and walking to castiel, "its an abomination."  
  
"that's n--"  
  
"place your hand here." hannah interrupted and castiel looked up at her with 'you can't be serious' glare, but hannah's expression was only serious and the man obeyed, putting his hand on the bible and his eyes widened as he heard a sizzling sound.  
  
castiel gasped and quickly pulled his hand away, staring at the bible as it bursted into flames and hannah looked at him, flames illuminating her face as she stared at him, making castiel feel disgusting and hated from her cold glare.  
  
dean grabbed the trash can and pitcher of water from the table, walking over to hannah and the angel dropped the fiery book into the can, the man dumping water on it and putting out the flames.  
  
"no..... _oh_ no." castiel breathed out, trying his best not to have a full-blown anxiety attack, his breakfast threatening to make a second appearance as his insides twisted with panic and nausea.  
  
"does he even know you're knocked up?"  
  
"yes he....he said he was thrilled, he said it was the only time he ever created anything."  
  
"castiel....we need your help." sam cooed and castiel swallowed thickly, looking up at him and he sighed, "what would i do?"  
  
"we need you to call jeff."  
  
"and tell him what? he won't just _come_ here, he has things to do--"  
  
"its not really him doing those things, castiel." hannah spoke and castiel looked down at the floor, wrapping an arm around his waist. "cas, look--"  
  
"cas?" castiel questioned, looking up at dean at the sudden nickname, "it slipped out, sorry--but, you need to think of _something_ to tell him that would get him here because we need to make him "jeff" again." dean continued and castiel shut his eyes, taking a deep breath.  
  
"i....i could tell him that i want an abortion."  
  
"that's perfect, lucifer would be outraged and he'd come here immediately." hannah spoke and everyone nodded in agreement, castiel sighing and taking his phone out.  
  
"you guys better be right about this."  
  
"trust me, we are."

  
**•◇•**

  
castiel paced the small motel room as he waited for cars to pull up, still in shock from the fact that it wasn't even jeff who got him pregnant and the fact that he was pregnant.  
  
not to mention the fact that there was a goddamn _angel_ hiding in the closet while the _king of hell_ , a _witch_ , and two _creature-killers_ waited in the other room behind locked doors; waiting for the _devil_ to come into the room and send him to _hell_.  
  
jesus christ, he was going to lose his mind, if he even still had it.  
  
castiel froze as he heard cars pull up and he gulped, fidgeting with coat sleeve and trying not to have a panic attack as there was a knock on the door.  
  
he took a deep breath and gathered himself, opening the door and seeing two security guards, "mr.novak." one of them spoke and castiel nodded, moving aside for them to do a room sweep and he shut the door, moving over to the bed and sitting down, watching as the two men searched the room.  
  
his heart pounded in his chest as he watched one of the men try and get into the room that the others were in, but stopped as he realized that it was locked.  
  
the younger security guard opened the closet, his eyes widening as he saw hannah, but the angel was too fast and she pressed her fingers to his forehead, "there's no one in here, but castiel. go wait in your car."  
  
the man blinked but turned to the side as if nothing happened, "its clear." he announced as he shut the door and left, castiel letting out a sigh of semi-relief.  
  
hannah stepped out of the closet as she heard the front door shut, castiel looking at her with nothing but pure fear in his eyes and the angel gave him a sympathetic look, "i feel like im gonna pass out."  
  
"you won't." hannah spoke and she quickly went back into hiding as they heard footsteps, castiel moving forward and opening the door, his heart dropping as he saw (not) jeff.  
  
"castiel." jeff smiled and castiel remained silent, moving away from the door and the man stepped in, shutting it behind him. "castiel, what's wrong?"  
  
"i told you on the phone, i can't have this baby."  
  
castiel turned to look at jeff and the man shook his head, calmly advancing forward before he jumped at castiel, grabbing him by the throat and slamming him against the wall, the smaller man letting out a choked gasp and struggling for air.  
  
"i'm afraid i'll have to insist." he spat and his eyes flashed red, castiel's eyes widening as he stared at them.  
  
oh god, they weren't lying about this.  
  
a door slammed open and jeff turned his head, sam slamming his hand against a blood sigil on the wall and holding up a golden egg covered in more sigils, " _sam_."  
  
" _vade retro_ "  
  
"we've done this dance so many times."  
  
" _princeps inferni_."  
  
the sigils on the egg began to glow a blue-ish white, jeff letting go of castiel and staggering back, waves of light filling the room as the energy from the egg and lucifer's grace battled, castiel falling to the floor from the sheer power and the others burst out from the other room.  
  
"sam!" dean shouted, only being thrown back against the wall from the power and hannah was pinned as well, rowena and crowley standing in front of a table covered with spell ingredients.  
  
light bulbs shattered as sam struggled to keep a hold of the egg, lucifer trying his best to fight the light waves, but he was practically stuck in place and everyone else was being thrown against walls and pinned against them.  
  
"rowena! now!"  
  
" _mah tay! ez loh! say tah_!" rowena cried as she threw a handful of something into the bowl, a bright purple light flaring from him and lucifer screamed, still trying to fight the power.  
  
"this isn't over sam!"  
  
"go to hell!"  
  
" _mah tay! ez loh! say tah_!" rowena shouted once again, throwing her hands out towards lucifer and castiel's eyes widened as he watched a bright white light expelled itself from jeff, circling in the air.  
  
" _mah tay! ez loh! say tah_!"  
  
the light, or whatever the hell it was, flowed down into the floor, it almost disappearing as quickly as it appeared and jeff fell to the floor, unconscious.  
  
castiel panted for breath, tears flowing from his eyes as he stared at jeff's body, praying that the man he loved wasn't dead.  
  
hannah slowly moved forward, bending down and pressing her hand to jeff's forehead, "he's alive. he won't remember a thing."  
  
"jeff? oh my god, jeff?" castiel stammered, shakily crawling over to the man and grabbing his tie, "oh my god."  
  
"we gotta go, get him outta here, go." sam cooed, giving hannah the egg and the bag to hide it, the angel grabbing castiel's arm and lifting him up, "castiel, you gotta go. go."  
  
castiel stumbled to his feet, clinging onto hannah as she walked him into the other room, dean shutting the doors and castiel stared at them in shock, his legs shaking as he struggled to stand and he could barely hear dean mumbling something, his eyes widening as he heard banging on the next door.  
  
"mr.president?" one of the security guards called before busting the door open, hannah opening the other door and pulling castiel out, "on your feet! hands on your heads!"  
  
hannah and castiel took off running, the angel leading him to a truck and they quickly got in, castiel's hands gripping tightly to his hair and he pulled, trying to wake himself up from this beyond fucked nightmare.  
  
"castiel--"  
  
"shut up!" he shouted, voice thick with tears as he sobbed, struggling to breathe and hannah gently put an arm around him, the man grabbing her coat and sobbing into her chest.

  
**•◇•**

  
castiel stared down at the plate of food that hannah ordered for him, having only taken a bite out of it as his stomach really didn't want him to put anything in it.

he was going to be _carrying_ and _giving birth_ to a child, that was terrifying enough, but then you add the fact that its apparently an abomination and the child of the _fucking devil_.

castiel was barely able to think straight with all the thoughts in his head.

everyone (except lucifer) was telling him to abort it, but he didn't even know if he could go through with that.

just killing an innocent child? one that was half angel?

that was just too much.

"i'm sorry, i-i just need a minute." he mumbled and got up, hannah watching as he went to the men's room and castiel stopped as he opened the door, seeing hannah's attention now focused on whatever was outside.  
  
he took a deep breath, putting a hand on his stomach and he quietly shut the door, looking back at hannah one more time before he quickly went into the kitchen and rushing to the back door, practically jumping out the door and he took out his phone, calling a cab and waiting, looking around and hoping that hannah didn't find him.  
  
castiel breathed out a sigh as he saw a cab pull up and he got inside, quickly dialing the phone number that hannah had given him.  
  
" _hello_?"  
  
"hannah, i can't do it."  
  
" _castiel_ \--"  
  
"i-i can feel it inside me, im its father." he whispered, voice breaking terribly as more tears poured down his cheeks.  
  
" _castiel, you listen to me. this is not a baby, it is the spawn of **lucifer**_."  
  
"its my child." castiel spat before hanging up, putting the phone back in his pocket and he took in a shaky breath, putting a hand on his stomach as he stared out the window.  
  
he was going to have this kid, whether hannah liked it or not.


	3. Chapter 3

castiel fiddled with his wallet, frowning a little as he tried to find more than just spare change, but only finding about a dollar or so in coins.  
  
"ready, honey?"  
  
the man looked up as he heard a waitress speak, "uh, just some orange juice, please." he mumbled as he handed her the menu, "...small."  
  
the woman scribbled on her notepad, muttering to herself and castiel hoped that she wasn't going to pressure him into getting more than he could afford, "so, when ya due?"  
  
"wh-what?"  
  
"i didn't mean to offend you, friend of mine is transgender and he was pregnant before so i just--" the waitress stammered and csstiel waved his hand, "no, its fine, you didn't offend me, just caught me off guard.....is it that obvious?"  
  
"only to people who understand....when are you due?"  
  
"....i have no idea." he replied shakily and the woman sighed a little as she put her stuff away in the pockets of her apron, "well, take it from me, before kids, your life is yours. once they show up, life as you know it is over."  
  
"yeah...pretty sure that's the way this is gonna go."  
  
"but, whenever it pops out, you're totally gonna love the little devil." the lady smiled and castiel smiled back, but his smile falling as she walked away.  
  
"yeah..... _little devil_." he mumbled to himself and he put his head in his hands, running one of them through his hair as he let out a sigh.

  
**•◇•**

  
castiel walked down an empty street, trying to figure out where the hell he was going to find shelter as he had run out of money for motels already.  
  
the man tensed up as he heard footsteps and he looked back, seeing a man in a suit following him and he picked up his pace, putting a hand on his bump and he walked faster as he heard the man move faster, going down the first alley he could in an attempt to escape.  
  
castiel ducked behind the brick wall, trying to be as quiet as possible and he peaked around the corner, letting out a breath as he didn't see the man anymore and he moved back, regaining himself and turning around, gasping as he saw the man again.  
  
castiel tried his best to run, but he stopped as the waitress from before appeared in front of him, a blade falling from her sleeve and he turned around, the other man pulling out a similar blade.  
  
_angels._  
  
"get away from him, brother!" a familiar voice shouted and castiel froze as he saw hannah, wielding a blade as well and her eyes flashed blue with grace, castiel's heart racing as he stared at her, unsure if he should be relieved or scared.  
  
"he's ours, hannah. orders!"  
  
"not our problem."  
  
castiel jumped as a man appeared near him, the angels' eyes widening at the sight of him, " _gabriel_?" the male angel barked and the shorter man--gabriel--turned to him with a smirk, "miss me?"  
  
the man advanced forward, but froze as a blade was shoved through his chest, eyes and mouth filling with white light before he collapsed, hannah standing over his body with a bloody blade and the female angel moved towards gabriel and castiel, "not today, sweetheart." he spoke and snapped his fingers, castiel gasping as the angel exploded into a puff of grey smoke.  
  
castiel backed away from the _much stronger_ angel and he whimpered as his back hit the wall, gabriel and hannah turning to him and walking towards him, "no." he whispered as he sank to the ground and he wrapped an arm around his waist, expecting one of them to try and kill him along with his baby.  
  
"castiel--"  
  
"no!" he shouted and looked up, gabriel holding his hand out for him to take and castiel gave him a confused glare.  
  
"come with me if you want to live."

  
**•◇•**

  
castiel kept looking between hannah and gabriel, his breaths shaky as he tried to figure out what the hell they were going to do to him.  
  
stupidly, he had taken gabriel's hand and he was fucking _teleported_ (again) to an unknown place, where he was probably going to die at the hands of angels or he'd have to escape again.  
  
the place gabriel had taken him and hannah to was huge, it was probably a penthouse based on the size and luxury of it all; the walls were a creamy white and the living room was set up with a huge flat screen tv and bookcases filled with the dvds for movies and tv shows, the furniture covered in plush cushions and pillows that matched the rest of the decor, the kitchen was massive with marble counters with large cupboards and a huge fridge, paintings hung on the walls to give it a bit more life, and a couple bedrooms that castiel hadn't seen, but he assumed they were just as elegant as the rest of the place.  
  
"pretty nice, huh? figured you'd want a nice place." gabriel smiled as he saw om the other end of the couch that castiel was sitting on, putting his feet up on the glass coffee table and hannah nudged his feet off it, earning an eye roll from him. "rude."  
  
this guy was the least angelic angel--wait, _archangel_ (hannah made that clear)--that castiel had ever seen.  
  
"wait, this place is for me?"  
  
"well, duh! you don't wanna be sleeping on the cold streets do ya? not good for you or the kid, cassie."  
  
"first off, don't call me that. secondly, why do you care about the baby? don't you and every angel wanna kill it? i know that she does." castiel spat and hannah looked down at her lap, "we've found a better solution."  
  
"oh, you have, have you?"   
  
"well, i doubt that, but....gabriel has convinced me that i should take you to heaven for some.....assistance."  
  
" _assistance_? from heaven? i was just nearly killed by two angels, what makes you think i want heaven's help?"  
  
"nobody wants to give birth alone, dude. plus, you need all the good angel help you can get with the little devil you got growin' in ya right now." gabriel explained and castiel huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back into the cushions. "so, you expect me to sit here and then wait for hannah to take me to heaven and kill us?"  
  
"i wouldn't take you to heaven right away, i'm going to give you time to think it over."  
  
"i already did and i say, _no_."  
  
gabriel rolled his eyes and got up, going over to castiel and the pregnant man continued to glare as the archangel stood over him, "listen castiel, i haven't done shit for heaven in centuries, but there are still a good handful of angels up there and they'd be willing to save your ass."  
  
"save my ass, how?"  
  
".....they'd figure that out when the time comes."  
  
"you don't even know what they're gonna do?!" castiel barked and gabriel backed away as he rolled his eyes, "i never said they were the _smartest_ , i just said that they were good--and they are! hannah's one of 'em!"  
  
"i'm not letting you keep me hostage, while i "consider" your dumbass plan!"  
  
"we're not keeping you _hostage_ \--"  
  
"well...."  
  
"hannah, not helping." gabriel spat and hannah raised her hands defensively, castiel huffed and got up, "i'm leaving." he muttered and began walking, but gabriel grabbed his arm and stopped him.  
  
"where would you go? where? you're just gonna put yourself and kid in danger by sleeping out on the street where any angel or demon--hell, a _human_ with enough knowledge and motive--could try to kill you?"  
  
"i'll be _fine_."  
  
"you weren't before."  
  
castiel looked down at the ground, he knew gabriel was right; he would do much more harm than good to himself and his child if he left this place.  
  
"...... _alright_ , i'll stay." castiel spat in annoyance as he shook gabriel off of him, the archangel smiling at him.  
  
"smart choice, kid."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning!!
> 
> there are some mentions of suicide

castiel opened the (his?) bedroom door and he was more than right about the bedrooms being just as extravagant as the rest of the place.  
  
the right wall was essentially just a huge window over looking new york city--at least castiel now knew what fucking state they were in--and a large velvet curtain could be used to cover it if he wanted, the canopy bed had silky sheets and fluffy pillows that matched, a large white rug underneath the bed and on top of black hardwood flooring, two dressers and a full body mirror were right beside a sleek black desk that had a small lamp if needed, and there were two doors that castiel had yet to open.  
  
"way to one up the president, gabriel." castiel muttered to himself as he shut the door behind him, shrugging off his coat and hanging it on the back of the door before walking over to the bed, sitting down on it and he sighed, his hand resting on his small bump and he gently rubbed the underside of it, smiling at the small flutter that he got in response.  
  
it was comforting--well, _sort of_ comforting, feeling the movements of his child.  
  
it grounded him, but it also made his mind race millions of miles in seconds; it got him thinking about how this kid was more than just a human, how he was carrying lucifer's child, how heaven and hell were not only real, but that they wanted him and his child dead just because it wasn't fully human.  
  
and, of course, it gave him the bitch that is gender dysphoria, but, that was the least of his worries right now.  
  
castiel looked up as he heard a knock on the door, giving a small "come in" and watching as hannah made her way inside with a dinner tray, "i figured you'd be hungry, and pregnant people should eat more than they do on average because they're sustaining another life, so i got you something." the angel rambled, walking further inside and placing the tray on the nightstand.  
  
upon closer inspection, castiel saw that it was a good sized dish of pasta with alfredo sauce, chicken, and broccoli along with a glass of water, which, after a couple weeks of just orange juice and toast from random diners, sounded _heavenly_.  
  
"thank you, hannah."  
  
"no need to thank me castiel, just call for me if you'd like anything else."  
  
castiel watched as she turned around, making her way out and he took a breath before opening his mouth, "wait, hannah." he called and the angel stopped, turning to look at him, so he went on, "if i go to heaven, would they....kill me and the baby?"  
  
"that would be their first instinct, yes, but there are angels who would convince some of the others to do differently."  
  
"what are the options?"  
  
"they could try to make you give birth and keep you alive, but i don't think that's a possibility with just normal angels...they'd experiment with the nephil's grace probably, see how powerful it is and if it can help with some problems that heaven has been facing as of late."  
  
"heaven has problems?"  
  
"heaven is....complicated, castiel. its only paradise for the souls up there, for the handful of angels that have to keep it up and running, it can be difficult when they disagree on several things."  
  
"how many angels are there?"  
  
"there were thousands, but now we have less than a hundred."  
  
castiel bit the inside of his cheek, looking down at the small swell that was his abdomen, "the baby could help them?"  
  
"if you go up there."  
  
"......i'll think about it." he mumbled and hannah nodded, "let me know if you need anything, castiel." the angel smiled before leaving the room, castiel staring at the now empty spot where hannah had been standing before turning his head and looking at the tray of food she had given him, reaching forward and bringing it onto the bed, eating the (fucking delicious) meal.

  
**•◇•**

  
"he's thinking about it still? even after you mentioned that heaven is snowballing?" gabriel questioned, looking to hannah's side of the large couch, a jim carrey movie playing on the large television and acting as background noise more than entertainment. "gabriel, he's not going to agree immediately, no matter how much you wish he would."  
  
"well, duh."  
  
"he's a parent of a child that's more.....special than he'd wish, but he's still a parent all the same, he's going to protect it."  
  
"special is an understatement, han."  
  
"at least he's considering going to heaven instead of flat out refusing." hannah mentioned, getting a shrug from the archangel and she sighed, gabriel was stubborn and it was honestly more and more aggravating with each passing day.  
  
but, hannah knew that he had a good heart and he was a good celestial being to associate with, no matter how annoying he got.  
  
"maybe if i bribe him with food."  
  
"he's not a dog that you can train."  
  
"humans are easy, hannah."  
  
"have you forgotten about the winchesters?"  
  
"they're barely human."  
  
hannah opened her mouth to speak, but stopped as she heard a strange sound come from down the hall, "castiel?" she called as she got up, rushing to his bedroom and she knocked gently, "castiel, are you alright?"  
  
when she didn't get a response, hannah slowly opened the door and poked her head into the room, seeing castiel (who had found one of the pairs of pajamas that gabriel had put in the dresser and put it on) curled up on the floor beside the bed, a waste bin by his head and his face scrunched up in pain, all of this sending a rush of worry through hannah's veins.  
  
"castiel? what's wrong?" she cooed as she went over, bending down beside him and gently putting a hand on his shoulder, to which castiel quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it, taking hannah by surprise but she didn't stop him, the human was obviously in pain and if this was helping him, she wasn't going to take it away from him. "what's wrong?"  
  
"cra-amps...they've happened before b-but--"  
  
"they're worse?"  
  
"y-yeah." he breathed and hannah gently helped him sit up, castiel resting his head on her shoulder and still gripping her hand, a burning pain going through his abdomen as his inside cramped up.  
  
"is there anything i can do for you?"  
  
"stay here."  
  
hannah did just that, staying beside castiel on the rug-covered hardwood floor, her hand clasped tightly in his as he powered through the obviously intense pain, the angel putting an arm around his shoulder to try and make him feel more comforted, castiel putting his head on her shoulder and she took that as a good sign.

  
**•◇•**

  
castiel stumbled out of his bedroom, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he walked to the kitchen in search of something for breakfast, "good morning castiel." hannah smiled as she saw the tired human walk into the room, his hair sticking up in every direction and the pajama shirt cutely stretching over his small bump.  
  
"mmm, g'mornin'." castiel yawned, opening the fridge and pulling out a carton of juice, reaching up into the cabinets and grabbing a glass, "are you hungry? i can make you something." hannah suggested and the pregnant male nodded, smiling at her, "that would be really nice, thank you."  
  
hannah smiled and grabbed the things to make waffles as castiel sat down on the opposite side of the breakfast bar, nursing his cup of juice.  
  
"hannah?"  
  
"yes?"  
  
"what's heaven like? i mean, what are your experiences with it?"  
  
"well, as i said before, it's very complicated." hannah began, stirring the bowl of batter, "i've had several experiences with it, both wonderful and traumatic, but i still love the place, its where i was created and where i was raised."  
  
"raised? by god?"  
  
"no, not by god, although i do think of him as my father, i was raised by other angels, one of them reminded me of you, actually."  
  
"of me?"  
  
"yes, his name was cassiel, funny enough. he was the closest thing i had to a mother, he taught me how to fly, how to fight, how to care for humanity, he was very protective of me and the other angels he looked after......i'm honored that i got to know him." hannah explained, a smile on her face as she spoke and castiel couldn't stop himself from smiling either, "what happened to him?"  
  
"i'm not entirely sure, to be honest with you. cassiel was a strong leader in most of our wars--yes, heaven has fought several battles--and i was told that a a gang of demons got the best of him during one of them, but.....i don't believe that to be true."  
  
"what do you believe?"  
  
"as tragic as it is, i believe he took his own life." hannah sighed and castiel's eyes widened, taken aback by the idea of an _angel_ committing suicide, "wh-why do you say that?"  
  
"he wasn't the best listener, his superiors had to re-educate several times and that is a traumatic experience."  
  
"traumatic how?"  
  
"re-education isn't just getting lectured, its.....its _excruciating_ to an angel because they use tools that go deep into an angel's true form and i've heard it being reffered to as brainwashing."  
  
"so, he got too overwhelmed with it?"  
  
"essentially, yes, but it was more than just the re-education. he had made mistakes, like we all do, but he took those mistakes to heart and he told me, quite a few times actually, that he felt him dying would benefit heaven......so, i think that cassiel had decided to take action."  
  
castiel looked down at his mostly-empty glass, swirling it a little and watching the liquid spin around before settling at the bottom, looking up as hannah set a plate with a fruit and whip cream covered waffle on it infront of him, "i'm sorry if i upset you, castiel."  
  
"no, no don't be sorry, it was a nice story with a sad ending, that's all." castiel cooed, smiling up at the angel and he pulled the plate closer to himself, stabbing a strawberry with his fork and eating it, twirling the fork in his hand as he thought.

  
**•◇•**

  
castiel tugged a shirt on over his head, the large piece of fabric stretching over his bump, but still covering it and he grabbed his coat, pulling it on over his shoulders as he looked at himself in the mirror, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to not look like walking garbage.  
  
"this is the right thing, its the _right thing_." he mumbled to himself as he slid his feet into his shoes, his baby moving around inside him, as if it could hear him, and he smiled, putting a hand on his belly and rubbing it gently, "this is the right thing."  
  
castiel had been in this place for about a week, getting used to its surroundings and developing somewhat of a routine; wake up, eat breakfast (that hannah usually offered to make), find something to do during the day, satisfy some cravings (with hannah's help), talk to hannah, and then turn in.  
  
hannah and castiel had grown close over his stay, the angel having been sweet to him since day one, but she had been more interactive with him after gabriel had left, to which castiel hadn't gotten an answer to and he stopped caring after awhile, paying attention to hannah's kindness and ignoring the archangel's absence.  
  
when hannah mentioned that heaven was practically dying, the thought had never left castiel's mind, also knowing that his child could help save the angels was a huge thing to consider.  
  
he knew that his child was an abomination, but he could never see it that way, it wasn't even born yet and people were already making it out to be a terrible thing, and with the knowledge that it could save something as important as _heaven_.....how could it be an abomination?  
  
so, after some hard and long thinking, he had come to a conclusion.  
  
"castiel?"  
  
the pregnant man looked up as he heard hannah call his name, making a small noise so that she would walk in, the angel giving him a confused glance as she saw him fully dressed, "why are you changing? it's six in the morning."  
  
"you said that the gate to heaven is far away, right?"  
  
"yes, its nearly a day's drive away."  
  
"we should leave soon then."  
  
hannah's eyes widened as she realized what the man was getting at, "cas-castiel, are you sure? i mean, i know that it would be a wonderful thing for you to do, but--" she started, but castiel interrupted her, "you said it yourself that the angels think that this child should die or that its an abomination, but i believe that we could show them the good potential it has by saving something as big as heaven, and while i refuse to let them harm my child, i have faith that they will change their minds once proven wrong."  
  
castiel gave himself on last look in the mirror before turning to hannah with a smile, the angel looking back at him with a smile as well and he walked over, hands in his coat pockets, "what are we waiting for?"


	5. Chapter 5

hannah and castiel walked up to the sandbox, the pregnant man barely able to see the lines drawn inside it, "this is it?"  
  
"this is it." hannah confirmed, the angel swallowing thickly and looking over to him, "castiel, are you sure?" she asked, still extremely worried that castiel will regret this decision.  
  
the entire ride here, hannah and castiel had been talking about anything except how this might go, castiel having the angel distract him with stories that she had yet to tell him or stories that he had yet to tell her, they tried to calm the extreme anxiety in the car, and it worked, until they pulled up to the park.  
  
now here they were, standing infront of a sandbox with anxiety filling them from head to toe.  
  
"as long as you're here, i know its gonna be okay." castiel smiled and looked back to the pit of sand as a high-pitched ringing filled his ears, sand swirling up and a blinding white light filling their eyes, the sand falling back down and revealing a tall man, the angel smiling as she recognized joshua.  
  
"hannah, castiel, its good to see you"  
  
"hello, joshua"  
  
joshua smiled at them as he stepped out of the box, walking towards kelly, "i know you must be scared, but don't be."  
  
a loud explosion sounded, making castiel and hannah jump back as they saw joshua explode into a cloud of red and black dust, the remains of the angel falling and revealing a woman, castiel unable to identify her but hannah seemed to and she grabbed the man's arm in protection.  
  
"hey sweetie." dagon smiled, the angel clenching her jaw and clutching castiel's arm, the pregnant man extremely confused, "oh, right, you don't know me because this little tree topper got to you first. well, i'm dagon, i'm a demon, and i'm gonna take your mistake to its father."  
  
dagon stepped closer to the pregnant man, hannah immediately jumping infront of the angel and drawing her angel blade, "you stay away from him!"  
  
"that's not gonna do shit to me, and you know it."  
  
hannah lunged towards the woman, but dagon grabbed her arm and the angel blade flew out of hannah grip, the demon elbowing her in the jaw, knocking her back slightly but she punched her, only to be punched back and then kneed in the stomach multiple times, punching hannah once more and sending her to the ground.  
  
"look at her...your angelic defender. you really thought  _she_  was gonna save you?" dagon taunted, walking towards the bleeding angel, "this sad, fluttering, aimless little moth."  
  
dagon grabbed hannah by the throat, lifting her up and squeezing tightly, making the angel choke and castiel's eyes widened as he saw light burst from hannah's eyes and mouth while she let out a choked scream. "hannah!" he cried as he realized what was happening and he jumped as he heard the sound of a truck, turning and seeing the winchesters.  
  
sam jumped out, firing at dagon and she dropped hannah's body, walking over to the hunter and punching him as he tried to reload, castiel rushing over to hannah's body and dropping to the ground, putting his arms around her and lifting her up, tears pouring down his cheek's as he held her lifeless body.  
  
everything was fucked.  
  
how was he going help heaven? would dagon kill him next? or would she take his child and leave? what about the winchesters? were they going to kill her? were they going to kill him?  
  
castiel turned his head as he heard a scream, seeing dagon walk over and he scrambled to get up, letting hannah's body fall back to the ground, "kid, c'mon, its just getting sad." dagon scoffed as she grabbed him by the hair, the man crying out in pain as the demon made him look up at her.  
  
"i'm sorry, did that hurt you?"  
  
castiel yelped as she gripped tighter onto his hair, his eyes screwing up in pain and he froze as he felt a rush of warmth spread through him, a soft male voice whispering to him as all his muscles relaxed, ' _you're safe, father_.'  
  
the urge to shout over taking him and he took in a deep breath, letting out an extremely loud scream and the winchesters' eyes widened as they saw a wave of golden light blast from around castiel, sending the demon flying back and she landed several feet away, it not taking long for her to get up and she was _seething_ with rage, charging over to castiel to _probably_ kill him.  
  
"castiel!" sam shouted to get his attention, the pregnant man's eyes opening and they were shining a bright gold, standing up just in time as dagon went to strike, his hand shooting out and grabbing her arm, the demon freezing in confusion and staring at his hand.  
  
"....how?" dagon whispered, staring up at the pregnant man in shock and he glared at her with flaming golden eyes, clenching his teeth in anger, "call it a miracle." he spat and castiel's grip tightened as the demon's skin began sizzling, letting go as she was set a flame, dagon stumbling back and screaming as she burned to death, reducing into nothing but a puff of smoke.  
  
sam and dean stared in shock as they got up, castiel breathing heavily and his hand clutching onto his coat, the pregnant man looking down at the ground as he tried to process what the hell just happened.  
  
"...what was that?" sam questioned, dean clutching his arm and castiel swallowed thickly, looking up and shaking as the winchesters walked forward, "i-i--"  
  
"the baby saved your life, geniuses."  
  
castiel jumped as he heard gabriel's voice, turning around and seeing the archangel walk over to him, fighting the urge to run over and hug him because he was so filled with emotions and needed something to get them out, whether that was a bone-crushing hug or a full on meltdown.  
  
"what the hell are you doing here?" dean spat, the archangel remaining silent as he moved forward and waved a hand over the hunter's arm, said hunter's eyes widening as he realized his arm was now healed, "i'm here to clean up a mess." gabriel mumbled as he walked back over to castiel and put a hand on his shoulder, "later, boys."  
  
and with a snap of his fingers, gabriel and castiel vanished, leaving behind two angry hunters and the empty vessel of an angel.

  
**•◇•**

  
as soon as castiel felt his feet hit the ground, he let out a loud scream that ended in a sob, his knees going weak and he would've fallen if gabriel had acted quickly and grabbed him, pulling the grieving man to his chest and letting him sob into his clothes, a hand on his head and gently stroking his hair to calm him down, figuring it didn't do much but he tried anyway.  
  
"why--why didn't yo-you save her?"  
  
"i couldn't--"  
  
"you fucking could!" castiel snapped, pushing away from gabriel and glaring him him, his reddened face covered in tears and the archangel would be lying if he said he didn't feel his heart clench at the sight, "you fucking left us! you could've stayed and gone with us, made sure that everything went smoothly! but, _no_! you were too busy doing fucking hell knows what and now the only person that i could fucking trust is dead and its your goddamn fault!"  
  
in his fit of anger, castiel had began beating his fists against the celestial's chest, not knowing if it was actually doing anything to him, but it felt good to get some relief and he was thankful that gabriel was letting him do this.  
  
the pregnant man slumped against his chest, letting out one more weak sob as he grabbed handfuls of the fabric that made up gabriel's jacket and silently cried, breathing shakily; "you.....you wanna go inside?" the archangel softly questioned, making castiel look up and turn, seeing the house that stood a few feet away from them.  
  
it was a lot different than the last place that gabriel took him to, or so it seemed anyway; it was small and old, but it looked comforting and peaceful, especially with the calm lake and trees that existed around it.  
  
"its no penthouse, but....i was told that this would be nice."  
  
"told?"  
  
"about bloody time, gabriel!"  
  
castiel jumped as he heard someone shout, looking back at the house and seeing the red haired witch from all those months ago walk out of it, wearing a red and black pantsuit that matched her makeup and her hair tied up in a high ponytail.  
  
"....rowena?"  
  
"hello, dear." the scottish woman smiled as castiel and gabriel made their way over to her, "i'm surprised you remember me, it's been so very long since you saw me." she continued as she gently took the man's arm and led him inside, gabriel right behind them as rowena walked the pregnant man in.  
  
castiel took in his surroundings; the home giving off a very calm and home-y feeling, it had a decent sized living room and kitchen, old photos hung up in random places and some normal house plants (or maybe they weren't as normal as they seemed) here and there, and a staircase that castiel assumed led to the bedrooms and bathrooms.  
  
"do you like it? well, enough to stay here?"  
  
the man looked over to gabriel, who seemed sorry that he had to be here, and castiel smiled softly at him, "yeah, it meets my standards." he mumbled and gabriel chuckled, patting him on the back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this has a garbage ending

__castiel sat in the nursery, looking around and taking in his surroundings, contemplating whether he wanted jack to grow up here or in the bunker.  
  
while he's never seen it, rowena and gabriel have explained it to him in detail, assuring them that it is the safest place and that if he chose it, jack would be more than content there.  
  
castiel's eyes landed on the now-built crib that laid on the floor, sighing before pushing himself out of his seat, gasping as a burning pain shot through his sides, his hand grabbing the chair to balance himself as he realized that he was having a contraction.  
  
the man let out a heavy breath as the pain stopped, swallowing thickly as he stood himself up and put a hand on his back, walking out of the nursery, "rowena?" he called, hoping that the witch was inside the house and could hear him, but he got no response and he kept walking around the house.  
  
"rowena?!"  
  
castiel groaned as he grabbed the wall for support, taking a heavy breath and jumping as he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning around and seeing rowena, letting out a sigh of relief, "where were you?"  
  
"i was on the phone with sam outside, i didn't hear you until i came back inside, is everything okay?"  
  
"no, the baby, its..." castiel trailed off, looking at rowena with fear in his eyes, "i think its time." he breathed out and rowena's eyes widened, a contraction deciding to hit at that moment and the man let out a low groan, rowena putting a hand on his shoulder as he leaned forward and the lights flickered around them, "oh my god."  
  
"hey, look at me--"  
  
"oh, god."  
  
"everything's going to fine, okay?" rowena cooed and wrapped her arms around castiel, another groan leaving him as she walked him back to the bedroom, helping him sit and he grabbed her hands, gently squeezing them as he rode out the rest of the contraction, "we-e need to call gabriel, an-nd maybe the winchesters-- _oooh_."  
  
"i'll take care of everything, darling, just focus on yourself right now."  
  
castiel nodded, letting out a huff as the contraction ended and rowena took off his red hoodie, "you don't have to change completely if you don't want to, but i would recommend taking off your pants." the witch cooed and castiel nodded, watching her get up and leave the room, probably to call gabriel, before he pulled his maternity pants off, going underneath the covers of the bed and resting his hands on his belly, rubbing it gently and smiling at the kicks he got in return.

  
**•◇•**

  
rowena walked into the bedroom, having gotten everything she needed for castiel's birth and she set the items down on the dresser against the wall, walking over to the bed and castiel smiled at her, taking her hand as soon as she sat down, the two of them remaining silent and the only sound being their breathing, castiel's being a bit shakier than hers.  
  
"you're alright." rowena cooed, rubbing his hand with her own and he looked up at her, "the contractions are still very far apart and for first time parents, labor can be twelve to eighteen hours, sometimes longer."  
  
"how do you know all that?"  
  
"i'm three hundred years old, dear, i've had my fair share of people giving birth....i also may have taken a class or two online just to make sure my memory wasn't wrong."  
  
castiel smiled softly, his heart swelling at the thought of her doing that for him, "but, this is also a child of lucifer, so labor might be a little different."  
  
"they didn't cover that online?" castiel mumbled with a smiled and rowena chuckled, "they did not." she replied and castiel giggled, the witch giving his hand a small pat before getting up and looking out the window, trying to see if she could spot the winchesters' car pulling up or gabriel coming in, but she just saw the calm lake outside.  
  
"rowena?"  
  
the red haired woman turned at the call of her name, castiel looking up at her with sad eyes, "thank you.....for everything."  
  
"of course."

  
**•◇•**

  
gabriel walked inside the house, knowing that the winchesters were not too far behind him in their car, and he cringed as he heard castiel cry out in pain, it echoing throughout the house and the archangel quickly made his way upstairs, walking into the bedroom to see rowena and the pregnant man on the bed, castiel squeezing her hand through a contraction.  
  
"sorry for running so late, dean's a moron, that's all you need to know." gabriel rushed out as he made his way over, crouching down on the bed and castiel looked up at him, tears falling out of his eyes and his breaths coming out in gasps, "you need to slow your breathing down, cassie, that's not good for you."  
  
"how about you have a goddamn baby and i tell you what's good for you?"  
  
gabriel chuckled lightly at his response, taking castiel's free hand and cradling it in his hands, the man squeezing tightly in response, "how far are the pains?" the archangel questioned as another contraction ended, turning to rowena for an answer. "a little less than six minutes, he hasn't got much time left before he has to actually birth this kid."  
  
everyone froze as they heard a car pull up, "the winchesters.....right?" castiel asked and gabriel nodded, getting up and giving castiel a pat on the shoulder before going out of the room to greet them, rowena turning to the man and she ran a hand through his dampened hair, "how do you feel?"  
  
castiel let out a small laugh, sniffling at the end as he looked up at her, "i'm dying."  
  
"castiel, you're going to be alright."  
  
"i can feel it, rowena." he whispered, swallowing thickly and sniffling, "i can feel my body giving up, i-i can feel myself dying."  
  
rowena leaned forward, wiping away from tears from castiel's cheek before giving him a kiss on the forehead, "i'm so sorry, darling, everything will be alright." she cooed and kept a gentle yet firm hold of castiel's hand, stroking his knuckles and turning her head as she heard footsteps come up the stairs, her and castiel looking as mary walked up the stairs.  
  
castiel had maybe talked to the mother once or twice over the phone when gabriel had called the winchesters and she happened to be there, never met her in person, but he can recall hearing her voice at least once.  
  
"won't be long now, right?" mary asked as she sat on the bed next to castiel, opposite of rowena and she took castiel's other hand, the man groaning as a contraction hit him and he squeezed mary and rowena's hands tightly, growling and getting near screaming as he rode out the pain, the women comforting him to the best of their ability.  
  
"ohgodohgodohgod."  
  
"you're doing great, castiel, focus on breathing."  
  
"i-i need to--ah--need to push, _now_."  
  
mary and rowena both jumped up, rowena getting in front of castiel and moving the blanket so that she was ready to help with the birth, "get gabriel, he needs to be here." the witch told mary as she was handed towels and the blonde woman nodded, rushing out of the room and castiel groaned as he sat up, spreading his legs and grabbing his thighs to keep them steady, pushing almost immediately and the door opened, gabriel rushing in and sitting behind castiel, wrapping his arms around the man's chest to keep him sat up.  
  
the human let out a groan that morphed into a scream about halfway through as he pushed, shaking terribly, "son of a _fucking bitch_ , this hurts!" he cried, easing off from pushing and letting out a heavy breath as he did so.  
  
"you're doing great, cas."  
  
"this is fucking awful."  
  
gabriel let out a small laugh, giving the laboring man a kiss on the head for comfort and castiel's breath catching as he began pushing again, "don't hold your breath, darling, you need to breathe." rowena cooed and he let out his breath through a drawn out growl, chest shaking as he drew in another breath, fingernails digging into his thighs as he pushed, yelping as the head began crowning.  
  
"it burns, it burns, it burns."  
  
"you're crowning, okay? stop pushing cas, and let the contractions do their job."  
  
castiel let out a shaky breath as he leaned back into gabriel, the archangel running a hand through his hair, "castiel, as soon as you feel the baby leave you, you have to let me possess you."  
  
"i have to _what_?"  
  
"if you let me possess you, i can heal you from the inside and keep you going, you'll be alive if you say 'yes' to me."  
  
castiel took a heavy breath, whimpering as the baby slid down a little during a contraction, hope filling his chest as he realized that he'd be able to meet his son, "okay....okay, i'll do it."  
  
gabriel smiled, now even more on edge as he had to act _fast_ after castiel gives permission because his death will be almost immediate, and if he doesn't move fast, he'll fail.  
  
castiel gasped as he felt the head pop out, grimacing in pain and taking deep breaths through his nose, "you can push again, castiel, it shouldn't be long now." rowena cooed and the laboring man took one more deep breath before boring down again, letting out another groan that morphed into a scream as he pushed with everything he had, feeling the baby slide further down and rowena helped ease the shoulders out before the baby slid out in one fluid motion.  
  
castiel froze, staring down at what should be a baby, but was kind of just a glowing ball of light, snapping back into reality when gabriel grabbed his shoulder, "cas, you have to let me in, now."  
  
the exhausted man looked up at gabriel, " _yes_."

  
**•◇•**

  
sam, dean, and mary turned as they heard something similar to small explosion sound from inside, the three of them turning and seeing two bursts of light come from the bedroom window, the light leaking out from other windows as well.  
  
"that can't be good." dean muttered before the three of them ran inside, rushing upstairs and into the bedroom, finding three unconscious forms and no baby. "....oh no...."  
  
mary moved forward, putting her hand over castiel's mouth and her eyes widened, "he's breathing." she mumbled and dean went over, sam bending down to where rowena laid on the floor and he picked her limp form up, feeling her breathing as well and he sighed in relief, "so is she--wait, what about gabriel?" sam asked, turning around and dean bent down to where the archangel laid out on the floor, putting a hand over his mouth and not feeling anything.  
  
"he's not breathing, but i don't know if he even needs to."  
  
rowena woke with a gasp in sam's arms, the youngest winchester helping her sit up as she took in deep breaths, looking over to the bed and gabriel's body, trying to get to her feet and sam helped her, "he's breathing right?"  
  
"castiel is, gabriel isn't."  
  
"gabriel is _in_ castiel."  
  
"he's what?" dean asked, raising his eyebrows and rowena went over to castiel's body, "gabriel said that he would be able to heal castiel from the inside, make sure that he doesn't die from the birth, but he had to act fast to get in and i don't know how long he'll need."  
  
apparently, it wasn't that long because castiel's eyes shot open, glowing a blindingly bright blue before his mouth opening, angel grace shooting out of his mouth and twisting around in the air before entering gabriel's empty vessel, the man going limp once again and gabriel's eyes opening.  
  
"i never want to do that again." gabriel muttered as he put a hand to his head, dean moving forward and helping the archangel stand up, "we don't plan on it." the winchester replied and the celestiel being rolled his eyes, "he'll be out for a little bit, it's gonna take a minute before his body realizes that it's okay--where's the kid?"  
  
"we were hoping you knew that."  
  
gabriel mumbled a curse under his breath, rushing out of the room and everyone exchanged a look before following him, finding him in the nursery down the hall, but they weren't expecting to find what they did.  
  
in the corner of the room, curled up between the crib and changing table, was a (very naked) kid that looked like he was eighteen, his eyes glowing a bright gold as him and gabriel stared each other down, "....father?" the boy whispered as he looked up at gabriel, "i'm not your dad, he's here, but he can't really come here right now."  
  
gabriel moved closer to the boy, everyone else staying out of the room and watching as he calmly approached him, "do you know me, jack?" the archangel asked softly and the nephilim's eyes stopped glowing, his muscles relaxing as he looked up at the celestial being before him, "....gabriel."  
  
"yeah, that's my name. how about we get you some clothes and you can meet your dad?"  
  
jack responded with a nod, gabriel snapping and clothes magically appearing on the nephilim's body, startling him and he touched his jacket sleeve, running his fingers across it, "comfortable, kiddo?"  
  
"mhm."  
  
gabriel smiled and held out his hand for jack to take, the nephilim looking up and hesitantly taking it, being pulled to his feet and everyone saw how tall the kid really was, he was as tall as gabriel if not a little taller.  
  
"can we turn the lights on?"  
  
"yes." jack replied and mary moved closer into the room, flicking the light switch and lighting the room, causing the nephilim to squint and he covered his eyes, taking a second before opening them again, needing a moment to adjust to it, "you okay, jack?"  
  
"i'm okay."  
  
everyone looked up as they heard a faint "hello?" from down the hall and jack's eyes widened, ignoring everyone and rushing out of the room, following the voice and ending up in the bedroom, gabriel and rowena following him and they saw jack and castiel in a tight embrace, tears falling from the man's eyes as he hugged his son.


End file.
